March was GREAT

Well it has been a while. Just have not been in the mood to write...which is odd for me. Anyways as tomorrow is the first day of April I have to say how lucky I have been. The weekend I miscarried and my camera broke and I got stuck in MD for longer than planned I told my mom I was going to pray that March would be my month. I guess God heard that prayer.

March was amazing! It was full of some amazing memories. Of course there were still rough days where I cried and wished I was still pregnant. But for all I have been through this month was wonderful. I have been blessed with some amazing people! I have found a amazing friend when I needed it most. I have gained more strength then I ever imagained having before. I began to see life in a new way since the miscarriage. I began planning our honeymoon. I finally found some nice apartments in El Paso that are within about 25 minute drive. I got closure on something that had been hurting me for 3 years. I got my hair done and love it. Derrek and I have become even closer. Derrek and I understand how important our love is. I learned that even though some friends are not close in distance they have been amazing through it all! I have spent lots of me and my mommy time. I have laughed more than i have in a long time. I have stressed less than i have in a long time. I saw life in a brighter light and believed that people can make all the difference in your life.



Miscarrying was by far the worst expereince ever, but I have to be grateful for everything that has come out of it since. God has blessed me and made me see myself in ways I never did before. Helping me to forget abuot something and leave it in his hands. Reminding me of who I am and the strength I carry in me. My showing me the people in my life who truly care and are worth my time and energy. As I sit and reflect on this amazing month i can only hope that April is full of many more memories, lessons and laughters! Consdiering it is my birthday month and when Derrek finally comes home...I am in great hopes that it will be good! As sad as I am to see March be done, I look forward to the new memories i will make in April.


XOXO,
Megs

I want to fix it.

I remember now more and more who I am. I love being the ear to someones problems. I love being the girl advice giver to guy friends. I love being able to make someone smile when they are having a bad day. But what I do not love is watching someone I care about be in pain and there is nothing I can do.

You know you really care about someone when they are crying and you start crying! It hurt me to see her hurt and know nothing I could say would make it better for her. It hurts me now to know emotionally and physically she is going through something no 22 year old should have to go through. I want to fix it! I want to take it all away. Good people do not deserve some of the crap they get. There are so many mean and evil people out there who never experience hardships as I have or she has. It is not fair!!! I know that is part of life, but it does not mean I can not be mad about it. I want to take her pain from her and ease her worries and i can not.

I also hate being hundreds miles away from my husband as he is struggling with an injury. It is not the end of the world but it is emotionally affecting him because they have him on a profile (not being able to do PT or hold weapons) and missing class for DR appts. I know he psychically is okay but i hate seeing...well hearing him down and knowing I can not do much.

Why can't I be superwoman and fix everyones hardships? That is what I want! I do not want ot see people I love suffer!

XOXO,
Meg
P.S. Me out having fun enjoying life for the first time in two months....

Honeymoon and life....

Well it is relaity! After everything Derrek and I have been through in the last 2 months we decided we needed to finally have a honeymoon! We have been talking about it and have been so excited but yesterday I actually booked it and put a deposit down, so it is really happening!!

We looked into many options and decided that the Pocono Mountains in PA was perfect. It is a couples resort and the rooms are amazing! On top of that I did my research and they give great military discounts. 50% weekdays and 20% weekends. So a room that is normally like $400 a night was $200 for us. This is an all inclusive resort. It is amazing. They have 3 hotels on the resort and we picked this one...
Suites at Paradise Stream and then they have tons of room choices and we picked Diana's Oasis. It has a heart shaped bath tub! Which of course I love. We have our own private pool and fireplace.

On top of it being the most romantic room ever there is so much to do. We are looking at horse back riding for sure and a couple other things for sure. We will expereince as much as we can in our 6 nights and 7 days. I will include the link for anyone interested. It is almost two years after our wedding but a honeymoon is a honeymoon.

FYI: for anyone who was thinking of getting us an anniversary gift or anything and would like to help with the trip. They have gift certificates you can purchase on the website. We would love something liek that this year to help us with our trip even though it will be two months before our actual anniversary.

CHECK OUT THE WEBSITE THOUGH.....
http://www.caesarspoconoresorts.com/suites/dianasoasis.aspx

XOXO,
Meg and Derrek

I have so much!

Sometimes you get so down and life keeps handing you crap...as I know! And you get screwed over so much it is hard to remember that things happen and people come into our lives that do NOT screw us over. We focus on the bad ones that sometimes we forget about the good ones, right in front of us...Well at least I do this. I have finally gotten out a little bit and it has been so great to be reminded who I am, where I come from and the wonderful people who are there new and old.

Last week I went to hang out with a old HS friend. She really hurt me like 5 years ago. But once we got together it was as if we had been friends forever. We both have grown and changed but are still the same. It was nice to re-connect and have that girl who was just as emotional and passionate about things as I am. We connect and have so much fun together. Also thanks to Britters, it kind of got me started on getting out again and enjoying life. Thank goodness for her and her persistance! Thanks Brit!!

This weekend I did more than I have since before I was pregnant so that was great for me and helped me with sleeping a little. Saturday night I hang out with Ashley(for those who do not know her and i have been friends since we were 5 years old!). We went to this little ghetto bar becasue my friend, Josh his band was playing there. Not our type of bar but we went for support of Josh. It was great to be out with Ashley and have a few drinks. She is excited to take me out over the next couple months. The way I see it is this is about the only time I will not be working in my life so might as well live it up and have some fun. It was also great to hear Joshs band and look at the changes they have come through esp him. It was nice to see a old friend who really helped me in life and got me where I am.

Then yesterday, Sunday, I hang out with two friends for my dorm days at Colorado Mtn College my first year of college. Katie and I went up to CO Springs to see Chelsea. We met her boyfriend who is so perfect for her and makes me so happy to see her having such a great support system becasue she has been through a lot.
The three of us girls than went to the mall, then mini golfing and then got ice cream. I was so tired by the time we headed home but it was worth it. It was as if no time had passed since we saw one another last which was my wedding. We had so much fun and it was so great to be reminded you have great friends.

So over all I have learned and been reminded that I might not talk to people all the time but when things get rough they are there. When you get to get out of the house they are there. If you need a shoulder they are there no matter the distance! I have gone throuhg a lot with girl friends hurting me and walking all over me, but in the end finally at the age of 23 (well in a month I will be 23) I have finally learned how to pick my friends and am blessed!

So to Kelly, Britters, Amanda, Chels, Katie, Ashley, Shanda, Desirae and anyone else who has been there....THANK YOU...I could not get thorugh this without you!!!

XOXO,
Megs