Lost my way

For the past week or so I have felt lost. Maybe the move and feeling like I am starting over. I have had a few pity parties for myself. After what feels like forever (even if it was only a week) I feel as if I am finding myself again. After the miscarriage I learned a lot about myself and things I needed to improve. I was doing very well and then got of path and started falling into old habits i.e. negative nelly!

I have no idea what hit me but I feel as if I am finding myself again and not just myself...but the improved self. I am taking a trip home next week and I think that is great for me. Plus I will be bringing my kitties back with me! YAY!!! We miss them so much. Along with that I will be driving a new car back. Derrek and I need a 2nd car as it leaves me stuck in the house when he is at work as we do not live on base. We are looking for a jeep Cherokee or something similar. Thanks to my amazing grandparents we are able to buy a used car to help us out. Nothing fancy just something to get us by. My grandparents are so amazing, not just with helping us our with money for something we need, but for the constant support they provide me and now us. I feel like I have not gotten to know them as much as I would like. I hope to take a trip out East before Derrek deploys and spend time with them more than in the past. I just learned that family is so important and I want to know that I got to know all of them very well.

I am just so blessed with the people in my life. My family is amazing even if we do not talk as often as I would like (dang brothers...if they were sisters it would be different. lol). I am blessed with an amazing mom who has given me so much over the years. I am also blessed with a Dad who has been such a great supporter to me over the last year. I am grateful to have that now. I am blessed with two sets of amazing grandparents, amazing aunts and uncles and the best cousins a girl can have. I have in-laws that have accepted me since the beginning. That makes such the difference. I also have some amazing friends and I am finally learning just because we may not talk everyday does not mean we are not close. I have some friends for years and some new. Some married, some not. Some with kids and some not. Some near and some far. Either way if I needed one of them they would be there. I am extremely grateful for Kelly and Amanda who were there for me the most during the toughest time ever! And there positive outlook that helps me in so many ways. Man I am one lucky girl!!


Oh and we can not forget the husband who is still growing. He is amazing and sometimes I forget that and place blame on him so often and forget that I am also one to blame. We are growing and we are learning. The best thing about that is we are doing it together. Even if he may not cuddle with me as much as I would like or buy me flowers 'just because' he is ALWAYS supporting me and loving me!!! I am blessed to have what I have and hopefully I can remember this as I work on improving myself....

XOXO,
Megs