New Blog

Hey everyone. Well I have been using a Live journal Blog, but decided this was a easier way to blog because I am always on here looking at My brother and his fiances blog, and my best friend and her family. So here I am! Well it has been a while since I blogged. Life is here. Nothing bad, which is good. I have caught myself many times this week with tears in my eyes. Not to sure what it is that is bringing them on. They are not even tears of sadness all the time. I think I am in a confusing place, about to move and Derrek leaving. Excited to go on our new journey in life, yet scared to leave what I have grown to know and love here. Yes, I said I love it here! Now that does not mean I love the desert and Fort Irwin, but I love the people I have met and gotten to know. I love the job I have, working my kids is such a joy and blessing. I love this home were we got started at when we first got married. So much has happened, good and bad. Yet all of those things have helped define me a little more. I am afraid to leave and lose some of that. Lose the friends I have made, forget the memories, stop being important to my kids, and so much more. Leave this house full of so many arguments and love all in the same day. I know that is part of life, but I am still getting use to life. Change is good and opens so many doors, it is just scary. It is funny how something can cause so many emotions that contradict one another. This was my first time away from home, and I will not lie and say it was easy! It was NO where near easy, but as crazy as it is, I would not change it. While Derrek and I are still learning and growing with one another and there are still plenty of fights, we have come a long way. I am scared of him leaving to school for four months....I am afraid of what will happen or change with him and I. I can not imagine a deployment. Two women I work with are coming to the end of a deployment in like two days. They are so strong and I can not imagine. Life is full of so many things that sometimes I forget to be grateful for what I have. Some things I have...
-I have a job, that allows me to help children and be there for them. Show them life lessons and love them.

-A husband who puts up with me andall my mood swings and my health issues. Who never looks at me differently for my struggles and negative aspects of me.

-A mom who is amazing!! She is my best friend and has given up so much for me. She is full of so much strength, love, advice and compassion. I hope to be even half of who she is when I am older.

-I have two amazing brothers who might not be the sister I have always wanted, but who protect me like no other and I think about daily!! And HATE being so far from them. -A family full of love and support. Great grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins. All of who mean the world to me.

-Some friends who are TRUE friends and have always been there through my negativity and bad days. Some here and some back home. Ones who I know will always be there and the memories we share will carry with me forever.

-Two babies who are like my kids for now! They are loving and cuddly and I love my Kitty's!

-I have a education....even if I still have a year left. I am in reach of it now and am working hard to accomplish this. Not everyone has such opportunities.

I could go on and on, but these are the most important things. I am blessed and grateful for what I have and would not change it. XOXO, Megs