How much disappointment and lies should one person take? Should you walk away after a certain point? I just want emotion, explanations, anything! I do not know the next step to take. I am emotionally drained and not sure what to do from here. Not sure what to think or believe. Not sure if I should trust. Not sure if I should walk away for my sake. Is that selfish? Well what about his selfishness? Why can I not just get the answers to this?
I do not like this life. This is not what I wanted or expected. I am tired of trusting and working on change and being alone at the end of the hard work. Am I perfect? HELL no! But I do not lie, and I do not do the things he does.
A lie is a lie! No matter what it is. They all hurt. They make you not trust. If you can't trust your one true love, who can you trust? Will i ever change? I just am at a loss. I feel like it is always the same thing and I always have a problem whether it be $70 downloads on a cell phone, cigarettes being bought and lied about, smoking at the house and lieing, forgetting to return movies that sit in the car for a month on the floor, or $500 of our emergency fund and college funds GONE!!! Gone and nothing to show for it. How can you justify that? What am I to do?
I have been praying and praying and talking to god for months. Good and Bad. And I feel alone and without answers. I want to run away. I want to wake up from this nightmare!!! GO AWAY GO AWAY!!!!
Keys
16 years ago
2 comments:
You should not have to take that over and over again. There comes a point where enough is enough. NO matter who that person is, you should not have to live with getting lied to by a person you thought you could trust with everything, I definitely know that! Lying is lying! It may start with the smallest of lies, but after that they may get bigger and bigger. If the person you thought you could trust with everything lies to you about stupid shit, what else could he be lying about. It is so hard when you do not know who you can trust, but there are the people who you have no doubt about. If you can not trust then how is the relationship supposed to work. You just need to do what is best for you. Couples Therapy, taking a break from each other, or whatever you feel might be right. Megs, you deserve WAY better! I am so sorry for what you are going through. And it pisses me off to see you get walked all over like this. You should NOT have to go through all this shit!
It is important to remember that marriage is a marathon and not a sprint. And sometimes the training for that race extends well-beyond the starting blocks. Now that you've identified some areas were your training is deficient the two of you, as a team, can work together and try to strengthen your guys' relationship in order to finish the marathon. Hopefully, spending time with your family and friends can help clear your mind and help put perspective on your life. Remember, holidays are a time for family, love and thankfulness. Hang in there and stay positive.
Love Josh
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